2nd Beta

Tuesday Beta 182
Thursday Beta 399

So I’m progressing! I don’t know how good those numbers are, but at least they doubled!

But, I was also told my thyroid stimulating hormone is high. It’s at 3.45 and they want it to be under 2.5 so I will be starting medication to get that level down starting tomorrow. Does anyone else know more about this? Is it a big deal?

Worry, after worry…. i blame it on this darn infertility.

btw, I had my beta this morning at 7:30am and I didn’t get a call until 3:10pm…. 3:10pm!!! ugh!! the wait for the betas after the first one aren’t that much easier I tell ya.

xo,
Trufflelove

Scared to even type it, but…

Beta was today and it was 182. I’m pregnant!

I tested on:
Saturday afternoon (6dp5dt) – barely-there line
Sunday FMU (7dp5dt) – barely-there line still
Monday FMU, or to be more specific i POAS at around 2:30am – darker visible line, enough to make me feel hopeful.

Symptoms:
no sore boobs
no tiredness
no metallic taste in mouth
no gums bleeding
no hunger pangs or cravings
no cramps – well no noticeable ones really, but if i look back, maybe i had some poking feelings on one side, but i have gotten that every other cycle that ended in a BFN.

Spotting
had a little bit of spotting yesterday evening (brown in color) – wasn’t too concerned
this morning I had bright red spotting – makes me concerned

How do I feel?
It feels surreal, I feel thrilled and I feel relieved. But I feel scared, worried, and cautious. I know I’m not completely out of the woods yet. So I’m just going to wait for my next beta which I have to schedule thurs or fri. I know things are still very delicate right now, and that I have to be very careful.

I’m thankful to God. I have gone from fervently praying, to feeling hopeless and asking ‘why me, ‘ and turning away. Infertility has taken me to the darkest of darks, but I am thankful that God saw me through it all and answered my prayers. I’m truly thankful beyond words and pray that I will continually have a thankful heart and never take this experience for granted.

I am also feeling a bit of guilt – survivor’s guilt? because I know many of my friends in our community are still trying/waiting, and I know how excruciating and hopeless it all can really be. I am hoping that everyone gets their bfps too, so that we can celebrate and experience it all together. Infertility is just unfair, and terrible, and cruel and all I can say is I know how it feels and that I’m hoping and praying for everyone.

xo, trufflelove

What happens after 5 day transfer?

(taken from: http://www.nyufertilitycenter.org/ivf/embryo_transfer)

5-Day Transfer

Days Past
Transfer (DPT)
Embryo Development
One The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
Two The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
Three The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
Four Implantation continues
Five Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
Six Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
Seven Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Eight Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Nine Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy

Interesting to see where we’re at. I hope my embie(s) are busy implanting!!!

Calm Before the Storm

I’m on my Birth Control Pills for the IVF cycle. Apparently, BCPs not only ‘calm’ all of the ovaries down, to get them on a clean and even playing field before stimulations happen, they also do the same for the uterin lining apparently. Getting the ovaries/eggs down to a grounded level will ultimlately allow those ovaries to respond to the stimulation meds when that starts. This weekend the RE also called in my meds to the pharmacy so I guess my protocal will involve menopur (great, this one is the one that stings right?). Everytime I get a call about what my next steps are in the IV F process, I feel excited. Every now and then I also get a woosh of ‘wow, I’m really doing this,’  but that subsides quickly enough.

Is it ironic that I have never been on birth control before (I never liked the thought of messing with my hormones) and that I am on it as I’m TRYING to get pregnant? 

Side effects: I have break outs, insomnia at night, and nausea in the morning. I have to have something in my stomach as soon as I wake up, something bread-y and carb filled (which I try not to eat so much – well, i’ve been kinda eating a ton of it lately though) in attempts calm the stomach down.  It’s getting better though. 

-truffle

Coffee & Wine Anyone?

Does anyone struggle with these two things like I do? I feel like for so many tcc’ers, it’s a no brainer… for me, I STRUGGLE with coffee and wine! Don’t get me wrong, I can control my urges, but MAN, does coffee ever smell so sweet and wine look so fine when you are trying not to have any!

 Coffee

It doesn’t help that I literally have a Starbucks in the lobby of the building that I work in. So as soon as I walk in the building every morning, the smell is just tantalizing!! And then of course, everyone on my floor is sipping on starbucks in morning meetings and while checking their emails; it’s like dangling a carrot in front of a horse, that’s all you can see… or smell!  I love coffee, plain and simple.  I don’t need anything fancy; I just need a tall drip. I’ve tried reducing my coffee intake into a short but that just doesn’t do either. A short coffee gets colder faster, and the baristas in the lobby of my building leave too much ‘room’ for cream, even if you ask them not to.  I’ve also tried the decaff route. It’s ok when I’m desperate, but it doesn’t have that ‘tang’ that regular coffee has. And I’m not high maintenance by no means when it comes to coffee. Of course Starbucks tastes good, but I’m perfectly content bringing in my tumbler full of homemade brew. But that’s a little tricky because there’s no way to ‘sneak’ a cup of coffee in without the hubby giving me the wide eye. It’s not that he doesn’t ‘let me’ have coffee, because he believes it to be fine, but he gets wide eyed at just how high I fill my tumbler with coffee. Oops! Hey, when I cheat, I cheat all the way  😛  

Wine

Gawd I love wine. I love most all red wines, champagne, and a good glass of sauvignon blanc. But I have been doing pretty good while TTC’ing. I will have a glass or two when evil AF shows her face, and maybe one glass during the first half of my cycle. I really don’t have any during the two week wait, but it’s super hard! While I have always preferred wine over mixed drinks or beer, I TRULY started to love wine when my husband and I traveled to Europe together. We had a grand old time in Europe, and did how the Europeans do enjoying wine with every meal, stopped for a glass when we needed a break while exploring cities, or had a glass of wine while enjoying the beautiful scenery around us. Sigh, that was fun.  I also watch Mad Men, and boy do they drink. They drink ALL THE TIME, and they make it look good.

I know this post may make me sound like the least bit healthiest of persons, but other than the coffee and wine thing, in which I find myself in ‘want’ when I can’t have any, I eat pretty healthy. The hubs and I have been eating as much organic foods as we can, shop mostly from Whole Foods and try and eat a lot of salads, fish, lean meats, etc.  

And yes, I know, have read, and have even heard my own RE say that coffee in moderation (1-2 beverages a day) will not affect TCC or IVF, but I figure if I’m going to do all of ‘this’ to try and have a baby, giving up wine and coffee shouldn’t be no thang….  I love coffee & wine, but I want to do whatever it takes to remotely help get that bfp.  There, the root of my struggle.

-truffle

P.S. I totally forgot to take my BCP last night before bed! I had it all ready to go, went to brush my teeth and completely forgot and fell asleep.  😦  oopsie! I will start them tonight.

A little about me …

I guess it’d be good to do a little intro about myself and where my hubby and I are in our journey in trying to make our family.

I’m 31, and Mr. Truffle is 33. We were married in 2007 when we were 26 and 28.  Since then, we’ve been traveling and enjoying life. Mr. Truffle has been a traveler since before we met, so when we got married, we traveled all over; Thailand, Malaysia, Carribean, South Korea, Canada, Taiwan, Spain, France, Italy, London and more. All the while that we were traveling and living life, I was also taking night classes in Grad School AND working a full time job. I look back and I still don’t know how I did that.

Anyway, we said after our Europe trip, we’d start trying. This was when I was 28, in 2010. Since then this has been our fertility journey:

7/2010-7/2011 – Trying naturally for 6 months and then decided to try opk sticks. Finding out that I ovulate a bit late on my regular 28-30 day cycle.

8/2011  – Start charting my bbt temps. I find that I have a slightly short luteal phase, but nothing a little vitamin B Complex can’t fix

11/2011 – Go to my OBGYN to let them know “um, I’m 30 years old and I’ve been trying for a year with no luck” they do a few blood tests and everything looks fine. They say I can go to Fertility Clinic if I feel I need to.

3/2012 – I go make my first appointment. Mr. Truffle does a SA – everything on his end is perfect. I do an HSG and they tell me that my tubes are open but I MAY have polyps (what?).

4/2012– I find I do not have polyps through a diagnostic hysteroscopy. I’m relieved, but not really. At this point I was excited to just go ahead and remove the polyps already so I could hurry up and get preggers! if it’s not the polyps, what IS it? Ugh, I guess it is a good thing I dont’ have polyps, I should be thankful that nothing is ‘wrong.’

5/2012 – IUI #1 – medicated with 5mg of Letrazole, natural ovulation. BFN (1 day chem preg – I’ll expand in another post)

6/2012 – IUI #2 – medicated with 5mg of Letrzole, CD9 fsh (Brevelle injection), Ovridel (trigger), 100mg of Prometrium (progesterone)  BFN

6/20/2012 – Ever since we started the IUI #2, Mr. Truffle and I have been contemplating IVF, and we are 99% sure we will do that this cycle. (I’m currently on CD2) Today is our RE’s IVF seminar that they hold once a month. We have to tell my Nurse Practitioner (NP) if we are doing IVF for sure by Thursday (tomorrow) so that I could start my birth control pills.

So my diagnosis? Unexplained Infertility (Bleh). My thoughts on infertility… at first was devestation. ‘Why ME! – why can’t I be one of those girls who got pregnant on the first try!’ But now, it has now subsided to a weird level of acceptance numbness maybe? I believe that I will get pregnant, and I believe that I will be a mother, I am just frustrated (and annoyed) at the process.

-truffle