Scared to even type it, but…

Beta was today and it was 182. I’m pregnant!

I tested on:
Saturday afternoon (6dp5dt) – barely-there line
Sunday FMU (7dp5dt) – barely-there line still
Monday FMU, or to be more specific i POAS at around 2:30am – darker visible line, enough to make me feel hopeful.

Symptoms:
no sore boobs
no tiredness
no metallic taste in mouth
no gums bleeding
no hunger pangs or cravings
no cramps – well no noticeable ones really, but if i look back, maybe i had some poking feelings on one side, but i have gotten that every other cycle that ended in a BFN.

Spotting
had a little bit of spotting yesterday evening (brown in color) – wasn’t too concerned
this morning I had bright red spotting – makes me concerned

How do I feel?
It feels surreal, I feel thrilled and I feel relieved. But I feel scared, worried, and cautious. I know I’m not completely out of the woods yet. So I’m just going to wait for my next beta which I have to schedule thurs or fri. I know things are still very delicate right now, and that I have to be very careful.

I’m thankful to God. I have gone from fervently praying, to feeling hopeless and asking ‘why me, ‘ and turning away. Infertility has taken me to the darkest of darks, but I am thankful that God saw me through it all and answered my prayers. I’m truly thankful beyond words and pray that I will continually have a thankful heart and never take this experience for granted.

I am also feeling a bit of guilt – survivor’s guilt? because I know many of my friends in our community are still trying/waiting, and I know how excruciating and hopeless it all can really be. I am hoping that everyone gets their bfps too, so that we can celebrate and experience it all together. Infertility is just unfair, and terrible, and cruel and all I can say is I know how it feels and that I’m hoping and praying for everyone.

xo, trufflelove

She’s Finally Here!

Thank goodness AF is finally here. I’m on Day 4, or is it Day 3. I always get confused. I got my period late night on Friday… dont know whether to count Friday as Day 1, or Saturday as Day1.

I will be starting Lupron on the 8th, Vivelle Patches on October 18th (approxmiately) and my estimated Transfer date will be November 8. That seems SUPER far out from now. Why does it take so long, hrmph.

Congrats to all my blog friends who got pregnant this time around 🙂 I have BFP envy on you guys but in a good way 🙂 , and I have come to *heart* you and want to continue with you on your journies 🙂 xoxo If anything, your stories give me hope!

-trufflelove