Eve of Beta – 8dp5dt

Today is the eve of my beta for this FET. I POAS this morning and it was a BFN, so I’m pretty sure this cycle was a bust. I kinda knew it was going to be a BFN given that I had one embryo, it was a BB+ quality, and this is just how my luck has been, but I’m pretty disappointed to say the least. There’s always that little bit of you, that has so much hope, even though you try not to let yourself.

I have had some nights between my last post and today where I felt a lot of cramping at night. These cramps obviously got me hopeful, and I often laid in bed relishing in the fact that these might be ‘baby pains.’ Now that I think about it, i think it was my period trying to come, but the Progesterone is keeping it from making her appearance.

Ugh.

I’m already trying to think of our next IVF fresh cycle. Looking on the calendar. Probably won’t be able to go to a ski trip that I wanted to go on with friends in January. I anticipate I will be in my 2ww during the trip and wont be able to drink or ski anyway. Easier to not go than to come up with some lame excuse. I was hoping if I got pregnant NOW, then I could announce it to my friends AT the trip 🙂 but whatevs.

Call me pessimistic…

Trufflelove

It started already…

the Crazy….

I started to have really bad feelings about this FET today and it’s only 5dp5dt. I know it’s early. But I just have a feeling that this cycle is not it.

so it’s Tuesday evening, and I tested, evening of the 5th day. Obviously, it was a BFN.

How will I make it to Saturday…

Pea in the Sandwich 4dp5dt

It’s been four days since ‘the pea was put in the sandwich.’ Have you all heard that analogy? It’s referring to the embryo in the uterus and illustrates that it’s tightly in there, and won’t ‘fall’ out like we are all afraid it will. No matter how much you shake a peanut butter sandwich with a pea in it, it won’t come out, isn’t that a wonderful analogy?

Sorry for my lack of posts. I have been feeling really lazy :S  But today is my fourth day past 5 day embryo transfer.

My transfer went pretty smoothly. I was thinking of taking all of Thursday (my transfer day) off but decided to go into work for half a day since my transfer was scheduled for 2pm. Mr. Truffles picked me up and we had lunch before going into get our transfer. When I got there, I had timed my water drinking right, and had to pee like a mother by the time my transfer. Having a full bladder is definitely the worst part about it all.

When I got to clinic we were seen to our room and had a nice warm table to get comfortable in. Our embryologist came and let us know that our one embryo was ready and thawed. It was not all the way fully thawed, but it was on it’s way. So at the moment of the transfer was a BB+. I’m not quite sure what a BB+ exactly means, but I was just happy that I was about to have a ‘chance’ at hopefully being preggers again. Mr. Truffles read me a few bible passages from his phone which calmed me and made me feel at peace with the whole procedure which was really nice. And that was that! Transfer was easy.The RE I had was a nice woman Dr. whom I have never worked with, but was super nice and super confident which was really good and put me at ease.
When we finally got home I went to bed to watch some DVD’s on Netflix. I slept on and off throughout the day and then Mr. Truffles ordered some dinner. We ate, and I went in and out of sleep the rest of the night.

Symptoms:

  • Since transfer day, I felt mild cramping on and off and still do. But this doesn’t necessarily make me feel hopeful because I have felt this way previously on my failed IVF cycle.  But I guess if the cramping were to stop all together, I would be upset so I’m hoping the cramping feeling sticks around for a while.
  • Boobs don’t hurt. They feel full every now and then but I don’t have any pain spasms or pain under my arms like I’ve read some ladies felt leading up to their BFP. Hmmm.
  • Today However, was my first day of feeling shooting pain down in my groin area. Right around the area where your legs meet your hips. Hopefully that’s a good sign. I’m trying to keep cool but as Saturday approaches, I can foresee myself going coo coo over these symptoms.

According to this chart i posted a while back, my emby should still be implanting right now. I’m on the lookout for some implantation bleeding and get disappointed that I don’t see any 😦 I know not everyone gets it, but I’d just make me feel a lot better to see a ‘sign’ that I’m still officially in the game.

I have been off from work since Thursday afternoon. It’s been nice bumming around the house and just relaxing. Tomorrow will be my first day back. Hopefully nothing stressful happens at work and that it will help me keep my mind off symptoms if anything.
Will update again soon!! Thanks for listening!

xo,

Trufflelove

 

FET1 Update

This FET cycle has been somewhat uneventful. No crazy stories of blood draws, or injections to speak of, but here’s where I’m at:

Summary: I’m doing a medicated FET cycle with one embryo that was of ‘fair’ quality, but in the freezing process turned into a ‘good’ quality one…. but there’s just one. So I was on birth control for about three weeks, and then started Lupron for 3 weeks today starting off on 10 units, but now decreased down to 5 units as of the 19th. On the 19th, I also started my Vivelle patches which are stickers that you stick on the trunk of your body to release estrogen. Vivelle builds the lining of your uterus because this cycle I am not producing any ovaries (due to the Lupron which suppresses ovulation). You gradually increase the number of estrogen ‘dots’ you put on the trunk of your body. I had my blood drawn to check the level of estrogen in the blood last Thursday. Everything looks good, so I am to continue on with my protocol.

Current: I am currently on 3 dots, and tomorrow I will put on 4. The estrogen dots beat injections by a gazillion. But I’m suffering from anxiety and feel anxious and stressed (especially in the shoulders) every now and then. It’s manageable though. I have been trying to hit the gym every other day or so to run and that helps.

I noticed last night that i had heaps, and I mean HEAPS of cervical mucus. Iget excited when I see cervical mucus. I suppose it’s a habit of my charting days when seeing cervical mucus would mean i would ovulate soon.  I’m glad I don’t have to deal with the ‘timing’ issue of tcc’ing right now though…

Future: I am currently on schedule. I will have a blood draw/ultrasound appointment on Friday morning. And then I will schedule my Transfer for teh 8th. I did not do this on purpose but I am super-duper excited that the timing of my Transfer is close to Veterans day which I get off from work. So I will take off Thursday (transfer day), Friday (the following day) and then have a three-day weekend to just bum around and ‘will’ my embryo to implant into my uterus. Well, that’s the plan for right now anyway. My clinic seems to think that going back to work is good for circulation and that bedrest after a transfer is a crock of poo. My RE laughed when I asked him if I should be on bedrest after my first IVF cycle saying that was ‘old’ and that I should go back to work. I dunno…we’ll see.

xo, Trufflelove

Lupron and Poo

Tonight will be my Day 5 of injecting myself with Lupron, and I can already feel it in my Poo, or lack thereof.  (WARNING: this post is about, you guessed it… Poo)

My ‘normal’ routine of poo is every other day. While that may seem pretty standard to many girls (as it was for me before), I remember watching an Oprah Show where they dedicated the whole hour episode going over the importance of poo and being regular, as in every single day. I found this fascinating.  Poo is a very important part of our health and can tell us so much!

Here’s some interesting tidbits while we are on the subject:

Located below are several indications that a bowel movement is abnormal. These signs and conditions were copied and pasted from a medical site.

Blood. Frank blood in the stool is never normal, and could be a result of several conditions that range from mild, such as hemorrhoids, to serious, such as infection or colon cancer. Bloody stools should always be evaluated by a physician.

Black stools. Black, tarry stools with a foul odor can be the result of eating certain foods, taking iron supplements, or possibly from internal bleeding.

Red or maroon stools. Red or maroon stools could be from something benign, such as eating red colored foods or it could be caused by several different conditions including hemorrhoids, anal fissures, colon polyps or colon cancer, diverticular bleeding, or inflammatory bowel disease.

Green stool. Green stool may be caused by green or artificially colored foods, iron supplements, or decreased colonic transit time.

Pale or clay colored stools. Stools that appear pale or look like clay could be the result of lack of bile salt (which gives stool a brownish color), antacids, barium from recent barium enema test, or hepatitis.

If only there was a magic poo indicator of infertility… and a magic ‘fiber pill’ to remedy it….

 The first day I got to the carribean for vacation, I felt the heat instantly engulf around me as soon as I got off the plane. It was as if I was walking into a steam room or a sauna. Every nook and cranny of my body, every cell and every inch of bone was feeling warm and I could instantly feel my body relaxing. As a result, I noticed that my Poo became regular every day that I was there. It was amazing to say the least. You see, poo-ing was becames stressful at times when I would notice that I haven’t gone in a few days. And going through a previous IVF cycle where the different medications I would take messed with my poo regularity even more, made me appreciate a good clean poo when I had one. So every morning I would wake up, have some coffee, take care of business and wake up my husband with the good news “Guess what honey, I went poo again!” and we both celebrated (haha). It made me feel like my body was truly relaxing to the point that it was naturally releasing toxins out of my body and things on the inside were getting into a more healthy state.

Well now I am back and I have been on Lupron and I would say my poo-ing has not been so stellar ever since the return home. I have definitely not been going every day and it could be because I’m at home, or it could be because I’m on Lupron. The last time I was on Lupron during my IVF cycle #1, I had to take colace towards the end because my poo situation was so bad. I am determined to have a better experience this time around by drinking a lot of water and tea (since the weather is getting colder) and starting on colace a little earlier on in my Lupron cycle than the last time.  Does Lupron mess with your poo too?

-truffelove

I’m Back! and started Lupron!

Hello my blog friends! I’m back, rested, rejuvenated, and sick with a cold 😦 This always happens to me. I think that when I am on vacation, I really REALLY relax and so does my immune system… because after almost every vacation, I get sick!!! Oh well, I had a great time in the Carribean so I can’t really complain ovre a little cold can I?

Here’s a little glimpse of my vacation. Isn’t it just beautiful?

 

So now that I am back, I have a lot to catch up in the blog world!!

But to give you an update on me, I am feeling a lot better and more ready to do this transfer now! I came back Sunday evening and started my 10 units of Lupron. The injection isn’t bad at all, but the anticipation of it still always gets to me in the beginning. I think back and wonder how the heck did I do 3 shots a day while doing blood draws every other? I hate needles!!

Once I get over this cold, I plan on trying to eat better. It’s hard to do right now because all I crave is comforting foods. I had soup and a sandwich the other day and some broth last night for dinner, so I’m not eating TERRIBLY, but I want to start eating whole, organic foods again.

On a side note,  while on Lupron, have people felt like they LOST weight? I read everywhere that people gain weight but maybe it’s because I’m sick but whenever I wake up  in the morning, I feel a tad skinnier, and i like it!  Once I start feeling bit better, I want to hit the gym again before I do my transfer. I have a friend who is totally into working out, eating organic, and eating ‘colorful’ foods and I am totally inspired to try to do so myself. It will be a little different though because she does not work and is a stay at home (with no kids) and I am working full-time… so I obviously have less time than she does to focus on health as much as she does but I am gonna try!!!

It’s good to be back!

-trufflelove

She’s Finally Here!

Thank goodness AF is finally here. I’m on Day 4, or is it Day 3. I always get confused. I got my period late night on Friday… dont know whether to count Friday as Day 1, or Saturday as Day1.

I will be starting Lupron on the 8th, Vivelle Patches on October 18th (approxmiately) and my estimated Transfer date will be November 8. That seems SUPER far out from now. Why does it take so long, hrmph.

Congrats to all my blog friends who got pregnant this time around 🙂 I have BFP envy on you guys but in a good way 🙂 , and I have come to *heart* you and want to continue with you on your journies 🙂 xoxo If anything, your stories give me hope!

-trufflelove

 

Where Art Thou AF!

When I dont want to see you, you show up. When I need you to hurry up and come, you take your sweet time. You really know how to annoy me dont you.

I’m on day 34 of my cycle. I’m waiting for my period to come so that I could start my first FET cycle! My meds are ordered, my precriptions are picked up, I’m ready to go, I.just.need.af.to.come.

-trufflelove

Tried to Skip the FET

But couldnt.

From my last failed fresh cycle, I ended up with 1 embryo to freeze that was of fair quality. Well, when I had my meeting with my RE to review my cycle this week, we found that my 1 fair quality embryo became a good quality embryo (which is the highest rating) by the 6th day.  But still, we only have 1 to transfer. So my RE came up with a plan:

  • Skip my FET and save my frozen embryo
  • Go on to the fresh cycle and if that doesn’t work, hopefully I’ll have made more embryos to freeze
  • Then if I need to do another FET, I can use more frozen embryo from last time in addition to the more that I will have hopefully made so I can transfer 2.  

I thought this was a pretty good idea. I felt good about the plan. My refund program that I am in requires me to do the following:

  • 1 Fresh cycle, 1 frozen cycle, 1 fresh cycle, 1 frozen cycle.

The clinic told me that before I go on with the plan that my RE thought of, which was to forfeit one FET, I should check with my refund program to make sure it doesn’t affect my refund in any way. Well, I did and apparently forfeiting 1 FET cycle will make me ineligible to receive my refund if I don’t end up getting pregnant because I have not exhausted all of my available options. Since I have 1 embryo to freeze, I should transfer it.

Now I have to do my FET with my one frozen embryo, before going onto my fresh IVF.   I guess I’m ok with it, but I had built up some excitement about starting a new fresh cycle already, which resulted in a minor let down. On the brighter side, my 1 frozen embryo became a good quality embryo when it froze.  I was also glad to hear from my RE that the thawing rate is 90% at my clinic, so he’s pretty sure it will be thawed when comes time  I have to transfer.

I will probably do a medicated FET because this past natural FET was a fail. I had not grown any follicles and my RE seems to think it might be due to stress. Which it probably was. So now I’m just waiting for my day 1 to come so I can figure out what my plan is.

It’s probably better that I’m doing the medicated cycle this next time since I will be going on a much-needed vacay in a few weeks. I can probably manipulate my cycle a bit so that I can adjust it to when I get back.

-trufflelove