It’s a love hate thing….
Hi ICLW’ers. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Facebook is great. It allows people to find and keep in touch with friends we might not keep in touch with had it not been invented. It’s easy, informative, and fun to see what people are up to. I’m one of those who is all over the facebook scene commenting, ‘liking,’ and wall posting everything. But ever since my struggle with infertility, it’s kind of slowed down a bit. Why? because everyone is announcing and posting pregnancy pics, ultra sound pics, pregnancy belly pics, new born pics, ‘going into the labor room’ status updates, ‘shes pushing’ updates, lovely pics with brand new family outings…. I know i’m in the life stage where everyone is around the time of having babies, or thinking of having babies, but come on. really? Every week there’s a new announcement! >.<
I have a family member who was a hard-core anonymous facebooker, as in you would never see a picture of her, or know anything about her or her family/husband by looking on her facebook page. pictures of landscapes, and food, and paintings is what was on her page for years… YEARS! but boom, after a several year bout with infertility herself, she was blessed and got pregnant! i’m happy for her (it took a minute) but it annoyed me that the ultra uber secret facebook side of her suddenly disappeared and instead was replaced with baby bump pics GALORE. babymoon pics, pics of her big belly in a bikini, ugh. I’d hate to say it, but I think I’m just jealous.
Not only that but i really am amazed at people who can so freely talk about baby-making plans on facebook and literally have a follow up post announcing not only that they are preggers, but the gender too! How easy it is for some… is that what it takes to get pregnant? to unabashedly claim that I am trying to get pregnant on facebook, and then BAM – I’m knocked up? is that how it works? ahh, the innocence of the fertility UN-challenged. I remember my share of innocent days, not wanting to even THINK about pregnancy or having kids because I was busy getting my masters degree, busy traveling with Mr. Truffles, busy shopping and meeting up with friends – you know, the good life. From that, to the fertility challenged woman that I have become. I dont want to be one of those woman who are jaded and jealous, but sometimes I find myself slipping…. and those times are when I am scrolling through facebook. I look through my newsfeed and stop myself from going down any further fearing I may see a happy couple announce they are pregnant, now on their second baby; or new families going on outings to the zoo, the mall, to the beach. There are days when those fears do stop me from looking through facebook, and other days i face it head on. Each time I press ‘like’ or comment ‘how adorable’ on a preggo/new baby pic, i feel like i have overcome a huge feat and actually feel proud of myself. I guess that’s how you get over it, right? one ‘like’ button at a time 😛 No one wants to be jealous- it just makes you ugly. It’s hard, but I’m trying…
** So yesterday was my first day of starting stims. I reduced my Lupron down from 10 units to 5 units. I also started 225 units of follistim, and 75 units of menopur. Can I just say the menopur hurt like a mother! it stung. I had some ice ready, but really didn’t ice it long enough as I probably should have (I was anxious to get it over with!) And why does it seem like there is so much liquid to be injected in for the menopur? it took forever and I really couldn’t inject the stuff down fast enough. A little bruising left as battle marks 😦 Tonight, I’m really going to focus on Ice Ice Baby. Here we go Stim Day 2. Bring it. **