It’s a love hate thing….

Hi ICLW’ers. Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

Facebook is great. It allows people to find and keep in touch with friends we might not keep in touch with had it not been invented. It’s easy, informative, and fun to see what people are up to. I’m one of those who is all over the facebook scene commenting, ‘liking,’ and wall posting everything. But ever since my struggle with infertility, it’s kind of slowed down a bit. Why? because everyone is announcing and posting pregnancy pics, ultra sound pics, pregnancy belly pics, new born pics, ‘going into the labor room’ status updates, ‘shes pushing’ updates, lovely pics with brand new family outings…. I know i’m in the life stage where everyone is around the time of having babies, or thinking of having babies, but come on. really? Every week there’s a new announcement! >.<

I have a family member who was a hard-core anonymous facebooker, as in you would never see a picture of her, or know anything about her or her family/husband by looking on her facebook page. pictures of landscapes, and food, and paintings is what was on her page for years… YEARS! but boom, after a several year bout with infertility herself, she was blessed and got pregnant! i’m happy for her (it took a minute) but it annoyed me that the ultra uber secret facebook side of her suddenly disappeared and instead was replaced with baby bump pics GALORE. babymoon pics, pics of her big belly in a bikini, ugh. I’d hate to say it, but I think I’m just jealous.

Not only that but i really am amazed at people who can so freely talk about baby-making plans on facebook and literally have a follow up post announcing not only that they are preggers, but the gender too! How easy it is for some… is that what it takes to get pregnant? to unabashedly claim that I am trying to get pregnant on facebook, and then BAM – I’m knocked up? is that how it works? ahh, the innocence of the fertility UN-challenged. I remember my share of innocent days, not wanting to even THINK about pregnancy or having kids because I was busy getting my masters degree, busy traveling with Mr. Truffles, busy shopping and meeting up with friends – you know, the good life.Β  From that, to the fertility challenged woman that I have become.Β  I dont want to be one of those woman who are jaded and jealous, but sometimes I find myself slipping…. and those times are when I am scrolling through facebook. I look through my newsfeedΒ  and stop myself from going down any further fearing I may see a happy couple announce they are pregnant, now on their second baby; or new families going on outings to the zoo, the mall, to the beach. There are days when those fears do stop me from looking through facebook, and other days i face it head on.Β  Each time I press ‘like’ or comment ‘how adorable’ on a preggo/new baby pic, i feel like i have overcome a huge feat and actually feel proud of myself. I guess that’s how you get over it, right? one ‘like’ button at a time πŸ˜› No one wants to be jealous- it just makes you ugly. It’s hard, but I’m trying…

** So yesterday was my first day of starting stims. I reduced my Lupron down from 10 units to 5 units. I also started 225 units of follistim, and 75 units of menopur. Can I just say the menopur hurt like a mother! it stung. I had some ice ready, but really didn’t ice it long enough as I probably should have (I was anxious to get it over with!)Β  And why does it seem like there is so much liquid to be injected in for the menopur? it took forever and I really couldn’t inject the stuff down fast enough. A little bruising left as battle marks 😦  Tonight, I’m really going to focus on Ice Ice Baby. Here we go Stim Day 2. Bring it. **



26 responses

  1. Ugh…Facebook. Such a great way to make a good day turn into a bad one, with one simple pregnancy announcement or bump pic! Just visiting from ICWL and I have to tell you I LOVE your blog name!

  2. So exciting to be starting stims!! I hated the menpour too!! I was fine with all the shots until that one came along! But just over a week from now you’ll be growing some embryos!! Such an exciting time!

  3. i just had my 2nd stim injection tonight, and the menopur just is no fun πŸ˜› not looking forward to that one for the next 8 or so days!

  4. Just found you on Lost and Found. I wish you a lot of luck on this cycle and hope that you get to make your own announcement soon. I do not hang out on facebook. I had to ditch it due to horrible moods, but then again I didn’t really do anything on facebook and have no plans to return. I prefer the blogging world :).

  5. I have pretty much hidden all who have babies or bumps except my best friend to whose son I am godmother ! It makes me too sad to often, I have enough daily reminders of my infertility without that!

  6. Facebook…. grrrr… I think we’ve all been in that boat of going through the home page with every other post about a pregnancy, a baby, or family outing. It’s hard not to get cynical or depressed even when it’s so easy for so many people.

    Good luck with the Menopur… I HATE that stuff, especially what it did to my sanity!

  7. I hate seeing all of the belly pics, u/s pics etc. With that being said, if I ever get pregnant I fear I will be one of those people. I see you are on day two of stims. I hope it goes smoothly πŸ™‚ I start mine on Aug. 11th!

    • i sometimes wonder if i will be one of those who will do the same. i was pretty active on facebook before so i’m thinking i might be :S

  8. I, too, ended up hiding a friend’s updates after his wife gave birth to their third child. I had 2 miscarriages during her pregnancy and was not ready to see pics or hear how adorable she was.

    I start my stims on Saturday! Not looking forward to the menopur…definitely going to try the ice trick! Good luck to you πŸ™‚

    • icing definitely helps. i like to leave the ice on long until my stomach feels practically numb. that helps alot. good luck to you too!!

  9. Facebook is the worst…I truly want to be a big enough person where I can look at the thirtieth baby picture in one news feed without envy, but it is pretty much impossible. But if I started hiding people with babies on my feed, I don’t think I would have anyone left. But I like your idea about moving past these feelings one *like* at a time.

    Good luck with the stims…hopefully the ice works better for take 2!

  10. Hi from ICLW. Facebook is awful sometimes! Everyday there is a new preggers or baby’s birth announcement. I have actually decided that once we do eventually become pregnant, I will not be posting anything on Facebook. I am going to create some sort of page or email list to give updates to my family members that I don’t see very often so they can stay in the loop without worrying if I am hurting someone as I’ve been hurt. Good luck with your cycle! I’m a little bit behind you and will be starting Lupron on August 8th.

    • I realize facebook IS awful sometimes. Sad thing is I can imagine myself doing the same – but wtihout knowing it! I think making a separate page for just your close family/friends is a good idea though. perhaps I will try that IF i get preggers! Good luck with the Lupron in a few weeks πŸ™‚ I was excited when it was time to finally start.

  11. Hi, I’m over from Lost and Found! I feel you on the FB thing – I had two friends give birth last week so it was baby city on my feed. I have a couple more friends getting ready to go into labor in the next month, so I have pregnancy updates from them. (I do not, for the record, care what fruit your child is the size of)
    I read a tip about menopur that seemed to help a bit – after you mix it, let it sit for like 15 minutes before you inject it. It still stung a little, but I swear it wasn’t as bad.

  12. Just found your blog through another’s and I am just a few days behind you, also starting my first IVF…started Lupron on the 13th and go in for my baselines on Thursady…good luck, hopefully this is the first and last for both of us!!! PS Facebook sucks, I went off it in March and it was the best decision ever!

  13. Stopping in for ICLW. I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who has trouble with FB. It’s amazing how quickly one post about a new pregnancy/baby can drastically change my mood for the day. It’s gotten to the point where I have had to block a few friends from my News Feed because I just can’t tolerate their ever-frequent pregnancy updates. I’m happy for them, but constantly sad for myself. I wish you the very best on your journey. Hoping you get good news soon!

  14. Hello from ICLW!

    FB can be a dangerous place – but I actually get more annoyed by the “woe is me my life is so hard with children” posts than the announcements. In fact just complaining in general on FB bugs me – it just seems like you are seeking attention.

  15. Hello! Thanks for stopping by my blog! I completely empathize with your post on Facebook. I find I spend more time in the TTC community because it’s just too hard to watch all my college and HS friends have multiple children while we are struggling to have our first. It’s just too rough. Anyway, I love your blog and look forward to following your story!

  16. Hello from ICLW!

    I think I have it easier than most IFers when it comes to Facebook. I don’t see a lot of pregnancy announcements or bump photos, perhaps because my friends list is small and almost all my friends had their children several years ago. (I suppose there are some benefits to being old.) What gets me are all the smug posts by mothers about how AMAZING it is to be a mother and how blessed they are and what a tough job it is, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I get it. You’re better than me because you were able to have kids. Can you please shut up now?

    (Sorry, did that come off as bitter and angry? Sorry…)

  17. HI there! I am also an ICLWer. You wrote down much of what I have already been thinking with regards to FB and infertility. I have completely given up FB (although I still have my account). I have not bothered to look at my news feed or comment or anything since my last miscarriage. It is just so hard to see the pregnancy announcements with the wet test to prove it. UGH! I used to spend so much time on there and now I never use it. I have thought about just cancelling my account, but haven’t for some reason. Maybe one day, when this part of the struggle is over, I will go back. Knowing what I know now though, I will never be one of those annoying mothers as Jenny ^^^ speaks of. Yuck!!

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